Designing post-divorce can be a difficult task, especially for men. According to research, there is a big surge in pandemic divorces. Generally speaking, most men are not as design savvy as women. They find decorating and interior design a daunting and stressful endeavour. Many men have an idea of what they like and don’t like but really have no idea how to begin. They don’t know how to pull it all together, and have no idea where to go to get what is needed.
Too often, men just grab or are given mismatched pieces of furniture and furnishings from the matrimonial home just so they have some “stuff” to get them started in their new digs. However there is a lot more involved than signing along a dotted line then dropping your ex-mother-in-law’s old sofa and kitchen table into the middle of a room.
Get some positive emotion going
Faced with so many new challenges and many emotions, the transition from the matrimonial home to the new home can be overwhelming, even depressing. Pandemic stresses are enough to be dealing with. Men often neglect the need to rebuild their living space and create a positive, emotional feeling for what will be a new home. Peace and a feeling of zen on the home front will become so much more of a priority heading into 2021.
In addition to the arsenal of specialists that he will need to meet with post-divorce – real estate agents, lawyers, financial planners, therapists, mortgage brokers – there is another specialist who should be added to that list. That’s an interior design specialist. The designer’s job will be to create and design for the space as well as to create a new home. That’s not just a place to sleep. It’s about creating a style using elements like proportion, colour, balance, style, order, and cohesiveness.
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Avoid any embarrassing mistakes
Without the right design help you most likely will waste money and make some embarrassing mistakes. Interior design specialists are experienced professionals. It is especially important to hire a designer if you have joint custody of the kids. The home then needs a creative balance between the needs of the single guy as well as a responsible, caring dad.
It will be a comfort for the ex-wife to know that he children will be living, at least part of the time, in a clean, cheerful, comfortable environment. The transition for the kids should be as smooth and seamless as possible. There are so many ways to create a welcoming and safe place for kids.
There are some common design needs for the newly divorced male. Large flat screen televisions are one of those. Leather chairs, wet bars, an area for prized possessions, and extra large bath towels are some of the others. The “setting up house” for men is a frustrating one. So interior design services can also include shopping for essentials like pots and pans, new plates, even stocking the pantry.
We can also select the right books, sheets and even toys for the kids. In my experience, I’ve even had to source out cleaning ladies, and be involved in other concierge service-type requests.
Overall the goal is for the post-divorced male to feel settled in his new home so that he can be ready to embrace all the new and exciting opportunities ahead.
It is important to remember that the new place needs to serve several functions. The new home needs to work for kids. But it also needs to work if there’s a home office, more of a reality these days. You’ll need certain elements for work, furniture items, areas for Zoom calls and other potential meetings. We also can’t deny there will likely be future romantic partners coming around to the new place as well. So why not kick it up a bit as well for those grown-up times?
A place that looks like it belongs to a man but also has some elements that are softer and more welcoming to the new lady friend, that’s what I am talking about. I try to be realistic and open-minded with all of my clients. There needs to be some thought for those areas of the home for “cuddling” other than the bedroom. The bedroom needs to look welcoming, with nice sheets, good duvet.
Our home greatly impacts our mood
Overall the goal is for the post-divorced male to feel settled in his new home so that he can be ready to embrace all the new and exciting opportunities ahead. A place where he can do the dad job, do homework, make pizza. But also a place to indulge, and feel proud of your new “man cave”. What your place looks like and how it makes you feel are critical to building your new life. Whether you think about it or not, our home has a huge impact on our mood.
Hiring a designer may not change your life in all areas but the move will help you discover who you are, who you want to be. It may even help you live your dreams.
Dawn Chapnick is Principal Designer at Dawn Chapnick Designs